


Flashbacks

by lonely_night



Category: Carol (2015) RPF
Genre: F/F, Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 13:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7510771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_night/pseuds/lonely_night
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is after the filming of Carol and Rooney is in bed.<br/>She starts to remember filming Carol and memories come back to her.<br/>Memories involving Cate Blanchett.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flashbacks

**Author's Note:**

> NOT IN REAL LIFE :-(  
> (sorry, just had to make that clear).

It is late.  
The lights are all out as she glances out of the windows before drawing the curtains.  
Rooney throws herself onto her bed and closes her eyes. As soon as she does so the memories come flooded back, overwhelming her, enveloping her, suffocating her.  
Cate.  
She remembers Cate.   
Rooney remembers how she would always reply when asked about working with Cate.  
_"I've always looked up to her since I was 13 years old."_  
_"It was really special to get to work along side her so closely."_  
_"Like a dream."_

She remembers the way Cate touched her arm, her hair, her back, her upper chest (dangerously close to her breast, and in some cases, actually touching her breast). She remembers how it felt when Cate took her hand at Cannes. She remembers how safe she felt. And how alive she felt.  
How she felt when Cate looked at her. Gave her that look.  
Although, Rooney looked at Cate like that too. A lot. When she thought Cate wasn't looking. When really she was looking. And when she wasn't looking the cameras shadowing their every steps were sure to capture it.  
The girl wonders if the woman ever looked at her like that. When she wasn't looking.  
Rooney touched the woman's arm too. And the woman's back. The girl wonders if Cate ever felt something. Ever felt alive, but safe and secure. She wonders if Cate ever felt a spark. A spark of happiness, of passion, of love. Because the girl certainly did. Rooney certainly did.

Rooney remembers the first time that she saw her.  
The feelings of awe and wonder and nervousness and shyness that overcame her.

Rooney remembers when Todd asked them if they were ready to film the scene where Carol and Therese make love.  
Rooney remembers Cate nodding and saying 'yes'. Rooney remembers Cate glancing at her, and then looking more carefully because Rooney hasn't moved or spoken. She's a bundle of nerves. Butterflies chase around in her stomach. She thinks she might be sick.  
_"Yes, of course, that's fine, sorry,"_ she croaked out.  
The 'sorry' came out as a whisper. She remembers Cate moving to touch her arm to reassure her.  
She remembers Todd kindly and concernedly telling her that she 'didn't have to do it today', and that they could do it another time if she felt more comfortable.  
Rooney remembers shaking her head and telling them it'll be fine.  
She remembers walking into the studio which, normally bustling, was oddly quiet: Todd had mercifully cleared out as many people as he could out of respect for Cate and herself. Rooney remembers the fondness and thankfulness she felt when she realised that.  
Rooney remembers Cate kissing her deeply and leading her to the bed. She remembers lying down and then Cate carefully undoing her soft dressing gown. She remembers Cate peeling the dressing-gown away to reveal her breasts. The rest became a blur of pleasure and passion and need.  
She remembers Cate huskily murmuring out her lines perfectly and then she remembers herself whispering out her few lines.  
"You're trembling."  
She remembers that line. No doubt she was trembling. Cate certainly didn't need to pretend much for that line.  
Then Cate devoured her body. Covering it with gentle kisses. She remembers the feeling of Cate's mouth of her breasts, Cate's breath on her bare stomach, remembers seeing Cate's blonde hair covering her lower body. Remembers with distinction how it felt as Cate's tongue licked the tip of her vagina. Remembers Cate's hand on her shoulder and on her body and back onto her breasts, caressing them as she joins their lips together in a kiss.  
She remembers Cate brushing her hair out of the way of their lips and she remembers the heated, passionate locking of their mouths as they desperately seek what they need so much. Rooney remembers the moment where it all stopped.   
_"My angel... flung out of space."_  
As Cate uttered the film (and book's), signature phrase, it brought Rooney back to reality slightly to vaguely remind her that she was being filmed. For a film. Cate was doing this to her for a film. For her job.  
And then Cate kissed her again and it felt so real that Rooney let herself believe it, believe that it was genuine.  
Everything faded away from her after that, all her thoughts and feelings merged into one screaming pleasure.

When the lights came back on and it was just Rooney and Cate panting in each other's arms did Rooney dare to believe that it really had been genuine.  
Nothing had been the same after that day.

Rooney opens her eyes and stares ahead of her.  
She feels lonely all by herself on this dark night.  
She is lonely.  
Rooney gets out of bed and wanders over to her table.  
On it lies a phone.  
Rooney picks up the phone and starts to dial.


End file.
